Gotcha

Six years, and yet some moments it feels like yesterday, and others a lifetime ago.

Six years ago, our wait ended– 592 days from the day we began the process. After dreaming and praying and crying, there he was. Phineas.

A toddler still mostly an infant; withdrawn, face frozen with fear, a bystander in his own life who had just been shuffled from his second home to his third. We had been led to foster adoption and even then, in that moment of rejoicing, we were keenly aware of the loss and upheaval that this one, small life had already encountered. We weren’t yet seasoned enough to realize that love alone does not erase all the wrongs and hurts that adoption inherently packs into the heart of a child. But we knew that this boy– who would one day share our last name, God willing– was ours. God had placed him in our arms and our home, and that day …

Well, it was enough.

Today, he is unquestionably ours– and not just because of a legal declaration and a reissued birth certificate. He is ours because he fits, perfectly, into the invisible, Phin-shaped space in our family that ached for so many years. There are moments and days when parenting a special needs child is something altogether too huge for our own strength, when we lean harder into Jesus than we ever thought we would or could. But then there are giggles. And bear hugs for little sisters. And “Mommy, I like you!”

Phin on his Adoption Day, June, 2010.

Phin on his Adoption Day, June, 2010.

Oh, my heart.

Six years since our prayer (“Lord, please bless us!”) was answered. Six years since we grew by one pair of deep blue eyes. Six years since our lives were changed. Just a measure of time, and still, so much.

Shared at:
Mama Moments
The Modest Mom Blog
True Stories
UNITE
Titus 2 Tuesdays
Titus 2sday
Growing Home
Teaching What is Good
Living Proverbs 31
The Road to 31
Finding Heaven

3 thoughts on “Gotcha

  1. I can only imagine how strenuous the process was to endure; as you know, we’re waiting for our child, but it has to be entirely different to be seeing, caring for, loving your child all along and not have that confirmation that they are here to stay (all while going through the process. Phineas is such a beautiful boy and I have so enjoyed reading bits and pieces of your family’s story and look forward to reading more :) God bless you today!

  2. Oh, praise the Lord for the gift of love and hope that each of you in the family get to share with one another. Thanks for linking this precious story up with me today.

  3. Thank you for sharing with us here at “Tell Me a Story,” about making Phineas truely yours. It is difficult when even a young child brings with them hurt and emotional pain, but God is the healer and that too shall pass. It did pass when we took a 12 year old into our home and nurtured her for five years. Today she is on fire for Jesus and understands so much more the hurts of others.

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