Lost in transition

We have to find a new church, and that just sucks.

This isn’t because something bad happened. No. Our church was great. It’s just that Cascade Community Church isn’t 10 miles down the road anymore. It’s more like 7,000 miles down the road, across several countries and then one big ocean.

For more than 12 years, we called Cascade Community Church our home. We grew in faith and family size during those years. We made friends, lost friends who moved on and made some more.

But now we’re here, in Kathmandu, and while listening to Pastor Nate Hettinga’s podcasts are a great resource and joy, well, you know, church should be like a family and you don’t get that listening to a sermon online.

So we have to find a new church. And today, that really just bummed me out.

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As I’ve been traveling to Nepal for the past five years, I’ve an association with a local church, a Nepali church, and while we’ve spent some Saturdays attending there as a family (Nepalis meet for church on Saturday because they have a six-day work week), it doesn’t feel quite like a fit for my family.

It’s a great church with a great community. It’s very welcoming, it’s full of spirit and Spirit, and we’ll continue to attend occasionally, but we probably also need something else.

So recently, we visited an international, western-style church. And it didn’t feel right either. Not that there was anything wrong with the service. It felt much like our church at home, but that was one of my issues.

Despite being in Nepal, I spent the day with a couple hundred westerners and only a handful of Nepalis. At one point, I almost said hello to a couple who from the back looked like a husband and wife who are/were part of our small group back in the United States.

And that’s the problem at the moment. We’ve been here in Nepal for only a handful of weeks, and my brain is confused. It can’t quite let go of home but it also isn’t quite ready to act Nepali.

It wants to shop from street vendors hawking goods, but it wants to buy peanut M&Ms and the convenience of 24-hour electricity. It wants to speak in Nepali but finds itself answering in English and French, two languages I do know well.

And today, well, today, I just couldn’t handle that.

I sulked, I brooded and at times I acted like a bear when I needed to be something softer and gentler to my family. I’m sorry to them for the way I acted today.

I know it will get better. After all, it’s only been a few weeks, for crying out loud. I’m sure I’m asking for too much, too quickly, and this transition from one life to another will occur.

And I know that the reason we’re here is worth the minor inconveniences and slight stumbles  that we are facing and will face. We get to be light in a very, very dark and oppressive part of the world — one where not everyone can say they know (or have even heard of) Jesus.

I also know that I have a great God — the One True God — who will sustain me. David says “Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul” (Psalm 54:4 NASB). Tonight, as I head to bed, I’m counting on that. I’m trusting in Him to ease this time in our lives.

In a few months, maybe even a few weeks, I’m sure I’ll be writing a different kind of blog. I’ll be letting you know how God has seen my family and me through these moments and how we are still instruments for His purpose, sharing the Gospel with those in need and who are waiting.

2 thoughts on “Lost in transition

  1. I have lived outside the USA for 8 years. It takes a while to adjust. And even then, you are never really here or there. Eventually you make peace with that.

  2. Christopher,
    Hang in there, my friend. The uncertainty will pass, or you will learn to live with it and embrace it.

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