A two-way street

The other day, we received an email from one of our favorite supporting churches. Now, truth is, we would have been happy to hear from them no matter what (they’re just that kind of congregation), but on this day, the contents of the message kind of blew me away.

Turns out, that by being our utterly raw, probably too honest selves, by putting our hurt out there for the world to see, by admitting that we had no clue what God was doing, but that we were willing to be His servants no matter the cost… they were encouraged.

They were encouraged.

Huh. And all this time, I thought it was just about me.

See, those emails, those notes, the comments here on the blog … those little rays of sunshine have been my lifeline on some really dark days when my spirit has has a hard time finding a reason to rejoice.

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The not-so-secret secret is that we are living, day by day, on grace alone here. We are a family mourning the being torn apart, mourning the loss of a dream, mourning the inability to do the work we feel so strongly called do, mourning living in a place which feels foreign and uncomfortable, mourning the sudden “well, now what?” that now defines our lives. It takes a supernatural grace to smooth over these deep sadnesses and honestly, in the day to day, no one understands. There is no one but us, here, the 9 of us, to turn to and randomly sob over scent, a memory, an intention never fulfilled. Outside of these walls, we are just a family new to the area, folks who must be so happy to have landed here, people who just need time to figure out the best places to find produce and the good parks and then all will be well.

It’s hard.

And then, out of nowhere, a note. A Facebook message. An email. And suddenly, we’re not so alone anymore.

Christopher and I share every bit of encouragement we receive with one another; I can’t tell you how precious it is to sit down and open an email that asks nothing of us, demands no answer, makes no assumptions, says nothing more than, “We love you. We get it. You are not forgotten. We walk with you, friends.”

So to hear that somehow, we have offered that same bit of balm to another person …

I am blown away.

Right now, we are in the midst of solidifying the plans that will carry us, we pray, into a future that continues our vision of spreading the gospel. It’s been a time of tremendous prayer … and tremendous attack. That email from the church was well-timed, and was the hug of encouragement we needed to remind us that though we walk a path so different from the one we had planned, we do not walk in vain. Nor do we walk alone. We are lifted daily by the prayers and support of those whose support of our family, our vision, and our calling has never wavered. That is an incredible blessing indeed.