On the worst days

Dear Fellow Mom,

You’re trying. I know you’re trying. But no matter what you do, you can’t do it all. Boy, have I been there. That moment when everyone.needs.you.at.once. That moment when the baby’s face is red from screaming and you can’t remember the last time you made it through the dinner hour without playing baby roulette and passing her from person to person in an attempt to stave off permanent indigestion. That moment when the toddler chooses to make a big deal out of what color sippy cup his milk is in– and all the others are dirty. That moment when your hormonal teenager brushes past you, clearly fighting back tears, and you hear your 6th grader slam a door down the hall, and you realize you forgot to turn the crockpot on, and it’s an AWANA night, and the kindergartener wants to know if it’s o.k. that the toilet water is running out onto the floor every time he flushes.

I have been there.

We all have. Even the thin, pert, perfectly dressed Momma in your homeschool group whose husband watches the kids every Saturday morning so that she can go to lunch and school plan for the week ahead. Alone. At a restaurant with linen table cloths. She’s been there. She’s closed the door on an overflowing laundry room and prayed that the underwear holds out for another day. Trust me. She has.

Oh, it’s rotten, to be sure. In that moment, you’re pretty sure  the whole world (or at least your own family) would be better off if you gave up on this gig and got a real job. There are probably people out there who need your skills. People who will value what you do. People who will pay you. People who you can deal with and then walk away from at the end of the day.

In that moment, you know the job is too big, you are too small, and there’s no way that any single person can possibly do all of this, do it well, and stay sane.

You’re perfectly right, of course.

There’s no way you can be all things to all people. There’s no way you can make everyone happy. There’s no way you can get it all done.

That oft-touted concept of balance? You know– “finding the balance between this and that”? Let me tell you a secret: It doesn’t exist.

It’s not actually possible to “balance” life. There’s no way to stack your “family” column and make it come out perfectly level with your “ministry” column. There’s no magic formula that equalizes your children’s needs so that you can divide yourself, just so, into segments that expertly fit where they are. And there’s certainly no way to plug yourself fully into work and family, and expect that everyone, everywhere gets the best of you at all times.

I’m not sure who came up with this balance idea, but I’m betting it was satan. Because really, who else would encourage women– already driven to satisfy the needs of the many people she loves– to do more, to be more, and to do it all with a smile.

Preferably while wearing really cute shoes.

Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

So take a breath. Turn on a cd that takes over your feet and forces you to dance. Pour yourself something to drink: a glass of water in your fanciest glass, a cup of tea in the cup you bought on a whim at a pottery shop, some coffee that is fresh– no reheated leftovers allowed. Tell your kids that right now, as of this very minute, you declare your house a party zone. Act accordingly. Give them free reign with some craft supplies and tell them not to leave the table until they’ve made decorations that are going to make daddy feel like a prince the minute he hits the door. While they’re occupied, issue a 911 to your besties via text, Facebook, or an old fashioned phone call. “I need some prayer, guys. This day is too much.”

You’re not alone. You can do this. The baby will grow up. Dinner will happen. The sun will eventually go down. And then …

You get to do it all over again.

Which is the good news, right? Every day is a do-over. Every day is a fresh chance. Every day is another surrender, another go, another shot at remembering that you were never meant to to be able to satisfy everyone’s needs, and that the best you can do is be the hands of Jesus to those you love– within your own means. From there, it’s God. Not you. God.

He doesn’t expect you to be perfect. He expects you to be real. He expects you to be who He created you to be, and to lean into His power. He expects you to ride the waves and surrender, again and again.

This is life. For everyone–whether you see behind the curtain of their days or not. Breathe deep. Look beyond the din of the moment and see the beauty all around you. Move forward. And be encouraged. Because, friend, you are not– have never been— alone.

Shared at:
Mommy Moments, The Modest Mom, Mama Moments Mondays, Monday’s Musings, Making Your Home Sing Monday, Playdates at the Wellspring, A Pinch of Joy, Titus 2sday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Growing Homemakers, Babies & Beyond, Teaching What is Good, Missional Call