I knew he’d be a good daddy. Knew it.
How?
I met his father.
This is what I tell my girls: if you want to know how he’ll be with your children, watch his own father with him.
I will never forget the first time my father-in-law hugged me. I had seen him wrap his own little girl–she was 12 at the time– in his arms countless times already, watched him drape his long arm across the shoulders of his growing sons. But me? I was the girlfriend. The outsider. And yet, he grabbed my arm one day as I turned to leave, spun me around, and engulfed me.
And just like that, I knew.
Christopher isn’t a perfect dad. He get tired after long days, he grows weary of the same battles, he forgets that 4 year-olds still need to be told to go to the bathroom before you head out on an errand of any duration at all.
But more often than not, he gets it right. He encourages his teen sons to fulfill their obligations while still being the dad who stays up an extra hour to play Settlers. He drops everything to ooh and ahh over Lincoln Log cabins and new strumming patterns on the guitar and handprints outlined in yellow crayon. He loves his wife above himself, and his children know it. He remembers important days. He puts his family before work.
Most importantly, my husband sets the tone for our family. Our children have the blessing of being raised by a man who defines himself not by his occupation or the car he drives or his favorite team’s winning record, but by his relationship with Christ. Because of his firm, loving leadership, every member of our family learns through his example how to be humble, how to serve, how to apologize and seek reconciliation, how to forgive.
Because Christopher had a good example, being a good dad came so much easier. I’m not saying that men whose own fathers are absent can’t be good daddies. Or that guys whose dads don’t measure up are doomed to repeat the pattern of failing their own kids. But the road is made much more smooth when the path has been well worn, mapped out by feet that have gone before.
This is what I see as I watch our own sons, still learning to be men, interacting with their younger siblings. These are boys who will not struggle to know how to talk to a toddler, or how to live up to the admiration bestowed upon them by an adoring preschooler. The onus is on them to live up to the example set before them. But I fully expect that should they some day be blessed to become fathers, they will shine.
This is the legacy of true men, of real fathers. What a powerful legacy indeed!