I’ve come full circle on the issue of unnatural hair color.
Was a day (we’ll call it high school and college) when the pinnacle of cool was any hair color with which you couldn’t have been born. Blue. Pink. Purple. It was all exactly what I needed to show the world that I was different, I was angry, and I was not someone to trifle with.
Then, too, there was a day when I swore up and down that my precious babies would never. Because God’s grace, spurred on by my excellent parenting, would ensure that my offspring wouldn’t feel the need to soak their hair in dye to show the world how unique they are — they’d be content knowing that they are creations of the Most High God. And everyone knows Good Christians don’t do that.
And now … there’s today.
Today, my 18 year-old daughter is upstairs with her friend, planning on putting purple streaks in her hair. And I don’t care.
I don’t care because no matter what color sits on her head, I know this young woman has a relationship with Christ.
I don’t care because she is mature, she is responsible, and she exhibits the fruits of the spirit in the course of her days.
I don’t care because we talk. We talk a lot. And I don’t have a second of doubting that our hearts are knit together.
I don’t care because it’s not rebellion. It’s just the chance to see what it’s like to be different for a few days. And that’s ok.
No doubt, someone will judge my parenting based solely on seeing that my daughter has decided to add a little unnatural flourish to her ‘do. To those detractors I say this: Get to know me. You’ll find so much more to judge in my parenting. Truly. I fail (fabulously) on a daily basis to live up to the standard which God has placed before me. I embrace grace hour by hour on this journey because … well, stick around. You’ll see my shortcomings stack up faster than you can take notes, I promise.
But what I can’t be accused of — not this time! — is putting appearances before heart. Because my daughter is not angry. She’s not out to show the world how much she doesn’t care, or how truly tough she is. She’s just a young woman wondering what she might look like with some fun stripes of purple on her head. She’s walking in Christ’s freedom to try something new.
No matter what color is on the outside, I know the heart underneath.
I love this. When I met my husband, I had faint purple streaks in my hair. It wasn’t rebellion (I had plenty of that elsewhere), I just have dark hair and thought it would be fun to have a subtle surprise when the light hit it just right. I feel the same way about my kids. I won’t let them start doing dye in their hair when they’re 12 because that’s a little much for me, but when they’re older, I really don’t care. Piercings, tattoos, whatever. I much prefer they have a relationship with Christ and with me. As always, great attitude check for realistic parenting.
Absolutely!!!!!
Just last week, for the second time (or maybe third), Laura dyed the underside of her hair purple. She knows I hate it. She did ask permission. She’s an adult. She doesn’t have to ask permission. But she did. I appreciate that. Both her dad and I told her that we would rather she didn’t, but she had our blessing to make her own decision. So she chose to color her hair purple. Just because she thinks it’s fun. And I’m okay with that. I don’t like the purple. Her natural color is so much prettier, in my opinion. However, that’s a matter of taste. So I’m okay with it for the same reason you are.