Just the other day, Mathaus emailed me regarding a book he’d purchased for the second half of a college course he’s taking.
He bought it used and when it arrived, it had clearly belonged to a smoker. To Mathaus, this wasn’t useable. He lamented the purchase.
So without thinking, I told him what to do… at the age of 18, while already successfully navigating life at Bryan College.
As soon as I hit “send,” I realized my error and slapped my forehead.
The reality is that it’s always tough for parents to transition from telling, to advising, to lamenting with their children as they figure out how to survive. I think it’s perhaps more difficult at our house as we still have young children needing step-by-step direction. Straddle parenting requires across-the-board balance.
But Mathaus is more than able to determine what will work best for him, and if not, something as simple as a book return is certainly a good place to start.
I chuckle with friends my age (I’m 47) as they tell me of parents who still direct them on how to handle some situation. The reality is that if by your mid-40s you don’t know how to contact Amazon, you’ve got other life problems.
Of course, I still value advice from my parents, but even my dad admitted at my last birthday, sometimes it’s just hard to remember that I’m an adult with my own children and not that little boy who once needed him for everything.
I’m sure Mathaus took the advice graciously, even if he didn’t need it. And no doubt, I’ll have more opportunities to step back as he continues to mature into adulthood. It was a good realization that we’re on the right track, and recognizing it will make the next time even better.