As churches slowly begin holding live services again following COVID-19 closures, one thing is clear: Most won’t be hosting any form of children’s church or student ministry.
That means entire families will be joining the main worship service together, which for many will be an entirely new thing.
For years, we’ve attended a “family integrated church,” and it can be a beautiful experience, but there’s a few things to understand and appreciate, as well as a few steps we wanted to share that might make it just a bit more meaningful.
- Accept that for many weeks, your family will be going to church together. In many ways, if you’ve been worshiping at home through a recorded or “live-on-screen” service, you’re already part of the way there. And while sitting in the sanctuary together might be slightly different, it doesn’t really have to be. Just don’t wear your pajamas.
- Accept that your children, especially the young ones (and maybe even your older children), are going to squirm. Smile through it. Work with it. Encourage them to listen. But if you need to step out of service with them for a moment, either to redirect or just let them have a bit of space, do it. No one should think less of you for parenting your children.
- Accept that worship as a family is going to look and feel different. Spiritual growth isn’t a steady incline, it’s more of a hilly battle. Perhaps this is a season where you pour more of your resources into caring for those small children than hearing every word of your pastor’s message. But you’re still communing with God, and the work He wants to do in your life will still happen.
- And speaking of your pastor, don’t worry that your children are going to distract him from giving his message. Trust me, if your pastor can’t handle a child’s outburst from time to time, he may not be called to pastor. Churches are made of families, and community always starts with the family unit. He’s tough enough to stay on track even when your child shouts out.
- Roll with it. Whatever happens, roll with it. If you put a good face on it, then chances are your children will see that and roll with it, too. Stressed parents cause children to stress, and the reality is that there are few things your children can do to ruin church. (OK, I know you’re thinking “mine can,” but they can’t.)
- Others around you, those without children, need to also grin and bear it. This is church, and church can be messy. We were all children once who did silly things, but God still hasn’t given up on us. We shouldn’t give up on families with children either. The more accepting we all can be, the easier it will be on families adjusting to church services with children in tow. That’s called The Church.
- Husbands, you have a responsibility to lead the spiritual growth of your family. Finally, this one goes to the husbands, because let’s face it, if the children are going need some attending, it’s likely your wives who are going to do it. Make a point of discussing your pastor’s message with your wife and children once you are home. At our house, we go around the table at lunch and share at least one thing we heard that morning. When they are smaller, I reward them with a treat, even if they say they heard someone say “Jesus!” The point is, the more you can integrate family discussion of the message into your normal routine, the more family spiritual growth you’re likely to see.
Children’s services and student ministries aren’t gone forever, but here’s a chance to encourage spiritual growth together. Yes, it will seem awkward and uncomfortable, and some Sundays may feel worse than others. But the outcome is mostly in your hands. Jesus said to let the children come to him, and here’s a great opportunity to make that happen.