Recently, I’ve had the privilege of mentoring a young lady through an opportunity that may or may not be of the Lord. It’s in an area of life in which I have a good bit of experience, so I’m finally getting to put to use some of that hard-won wisdom that God so graciously allowed me to store up. One message I keep sending the young lady is this: patience. Wait upon the Lord. He isn’t rushed by the timetables of man; neither should you be.
Of course, the truth of that isn’t easy for anyone to hear. And, like the vast majority of Christ-followers on fire with a great idea of how to serve Him, I sense her weaving and dodging in an effort to bring about His will … just a little faster, and a little more her way. I have been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, so I know what it looks like. Patience as God nudges pieces into place is never easy. When you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this this is good, and right, and He’d totally be in line with you pushing things forward just the tiniest smidge of a bit …
None of her eagerness, enthusiasm, or antsyness seemed alarming to me until I received a message asking a simple question. Since there were no Christians she trusted to pull into her project– a life altering, game-changing undertaking that will impact the entire trajectory of her life– would it be o.k. to partner with non-Christians that she knew? Just to get the ball rolling? Would it really matter, anyhow?
This was the point where I felt the knee-jerk Christian reaction coming on. Purposefully yoking yourself with non-Christians? Seeking out an uneven partnership? Honey, no.
But I stopped myself. I don’t ever like to dispense advice based just on “this is how we do/don’t do it.” I know it’s Biblical, this warning against teaming up with folks who don’t follow Jesus. But I’ll be honest– I grow weary of the arguments that sound like empty alarm bells, or trumpet calls for isolationism. So often, what I hear Christians implying (or sometimes blatantly saying) is that non-Christians are stupid. Or they’ve evil. Or they’re deceitful. Or they are just looking for ways to lure saved folks away from the faith.
I think that this mode of thinking– especially when applied to what we teach our children, or those to whom we are mentoring in the faith– is more destructive than encouraging. The fact is, there are plenty of Christians who I wouldn’t want to be yoked with, either. A profession of faith doesn’t make a person good any more than a dollop of whip cream transforms a sandbox cupcake into an edible treat. It just makes them (presumably, and assuming that their conversion is real) saved. Which doesn’t always translate into “the best person in the world to work with,” sadly.
On the flip side, plenty of very smart, very intelligent, very kind folks walk this earth and go to their grave without acknowledging Jesus as Lord. I’m talking about some very wonderful people, people who go out of their way for others, people who serve their friends and family, people who embody the ideal of neighborly. They are not demons, nor are they idiots. Pretending otherwise discredits our own witness with our children and those with whom we hope to hold sway. So what, then? Do we tell our kids that a person’s faith is not an issue when choosing a spouse? A business partner? A best friend to lean on in troubled times?
I don’t think so. But the reasoning isn’t as shallow as simply saying, “the only good/safe/trustworthy people are saved.” The real reason that the Bible cautions us to bind our life’s journeys with those who share our faith in Christ is that when we work with others, there are enough stumbling blocks along the way. Having a completely different point of reference shouldn’t be one of them.
Worldview. It’s a Christianism, but it’s a fact. Everyone has one; everyone lives their life based on what they hold to be true thanks to their bent. Put two Christians in charge of digging a well in Africa, and chances are probably only 50-50 that they’ll agree on the finer details. Throw together a believer and someone whose interests are humanitarian, but not faith-based and well … I’d not be shocked at a 80-20 ratio of agreement.
Why? Because Christians see the world differently. We just do. We see the earth as created. We see life as purposeful. We do good because good was done to us in the form of grace and acceptance by a living God who sacrificed Himself in our stead. Non-believers can’t see this. Their motives– even their best motives– are rooted in something entirely different. It’s not the same beast. It just isn’t.
So, hiring an accountant who you know to be agnostic? Sure. Why not? Playing soccer on the same team? Being book club buddies? No problem. But joining forces– purposefully– in a lifetime commitment with someone who has a completely different set of “why” answers behind his or her actions? Setting someone above you, such as a teacher, who you know to come from a different place altogether? Not a good idea.
Being purposeful in waving the caution flag with our children is part of our job as parents– and part of what maintains our credibility with our kids. Tell your kids that folks who don’t follow Jesus are flat-out stupid, and the minute they meet a winsome, friendly atheist, the onus of proof falls back on you. Never mention the theory of evolution and the second someone offers up what they’ve been taught about Darwinism, and your child wonders what else you’ve held back.
Speak up, parents. Address it. Don’t be afraid. Always be prepared to give an explanation for the hope you have. Yes– that’s in the Bible, too.
I shared my concerns (not so eloquently, I’m afraid) with the young lady. I cautioned her to think long and hard about merely seeking warm bodies rather than slowing down and allowing God to build a team of believers for the long haul. I asked how the worldview of the individuals would impact her project, where she saw herself in five, ten years. What she does with the advice is, ultimately, up to her. The beauty and the horror of not living in someone else’s skin– be it a friend or a child– is that they are still free to reject your conclusions, and to live by their own decisions. Like grace, your wisdom can be handed back to you, unused, while you stand by and wait for the next act to unfold. I’m not sure what she’ll chose, but I know this: there are two places I have never, ever gone wrong. The first is in waiting for God’s answer in His own timing. The second is in surrounding myself with a circle of people who share my faith, and who live it out. Not because unbelievers are idiots, but because when it comes to steering the ship of my life, I want folks manning the deck who live by the same instruction manual.
I really liked this article a whole lot because I, too, have friends that may not believe as I do, but they are still great people. Do I wish that they would accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior? Yes, I do! Very much so, but it is their decision to make. I have to respect them still as individuals with free will. It saddens me to think of losing such wonderful people if they don’t have Christ in their life on their death beds, but I am thankful for each one that I have had in my life. I lost a very dear friend almost two years ago who believed that a man named Jesus walked the face of the earth, but he wasn’t so sure that all of the “stories” were true in the bible. I have agonized over where he went and if he asked Jesus into his heart before he took his last breath. I honestly don’t know. I have another friend that is brilliant, and he’s a Native American that writes for my site. He has his own beliefs. Does that make him a bad person? Absolutely not. I respect our differences of beliefs and am still thankful to have him as a friend! I do believe in guiding where we can, but ultimately, it is their decision and we have to respect them.