The total truth is that if we knew exactly how and why, we would have stopped it, right?
Hindsight isn’t anything close to 20/20 yet, and I am pretty sure that many of the questions we have will never be answered this side of heaven. But still, people want to know. Heck, we want to know.
What happened over there?
It’s a delicate balance, sharing our story. The reasoning is simple: our daughter is in Nepal. We want to keep the doors to Nepal open, in terms of communication, travel, and maybe even residence again, should the opportunity present itself. So what we say has to be measured, has to be careful, and has to sometimes sacrifice the spirit of the emotions and experience for a peace between us and an unknown entity that could discover our words three, five, ten years in the future. This is why we have hesitated to make any big explanation– it all sounds hollow when you strip it down and make it “safe.”
So what happened? In short, a new push to register Christian churches and pastors in our area seemed to fall into the hands of someone who knew that the laws still prevented proselytizing. And while our work was primarily with those already professing faith, we were scooped up in the dragnet of the cause, and told that our visas would not be renewed. And should we push the issue, we would be disallowed from ever entering Nepal again.
Think on that for a moment.
We have worked in Nepal for five years. We have friends there. We have a daughter there.
And so, rather than flaunt the laws, push against the authorities (and unless you’ve worked in a fickle developing nation, you really have no idea how loosely I use that term), and risk further harassment, prison, endangering our friends, losing it all …
We complied.
This is the clean version. The one without tears. The one where we don’t second guess our every move. The one where we aren’t agonizing over the options (real or perceived), kicking God’s shins, searching, like caged animals, for a way to do something, anything else. This is the version without fear and without loss so real and palpable we spent many a night literally curled into the fetal position on the floor.
This is how the wheels fell off.
Praying for you all. Such a difficult situation. So glad you made the choice that leaves opportunity to visit again, continue to minister from afar and hopefully have many opportunities to spend time with the daughter who is there. (((Hugs)))
What a hard, hard road. The numbers of people who have complied with civil authorities, starting with JC, Paul, Peter, etc are too numerous to mention. Why did your family have to experience this? God only knows. Literally. There is so much more I want to say, but I will send that message privately.
What a difficult decision you had to make! I can understand the parental part of it clearly. You had/have to do whatever is necessary to protect your children, those with you physically and your daughter who is not able to be with you yet. My heart is broken for your family. After all the preparation, with excitement you got there only to be forced to leave so quickly. I pray over time God shows you the pieces of His plan so you are able to comprehend it all. My prayers continue to be with you as you figure out your next step in His pathway of your life.
Nothing God does returns void, ever. We may be seeing this situation through a glass but never doubt that He is in control and will use this set back for His glory.
What a heart-wrenching decision to have to make, I’m so sorry! Especially with your daughter still there, I don’t see how you could have done anything else, and I pray you come to accept that and rejoice in every step that God still, absolutely and definitely, has laid out for you.
I’m so sorry. Visas, particularly in developing countries where personal religion is of concern to government, can be fickle things. I pray that doors that have shut will re-open, or that different doors will open, so that you can be re-united with your daughter.
I too know the pain of a shattering place. May the God of peace and comfort be with you. May you abide under his wing. May you soon know the joy of healing.
Of course you complied. You are thinking long term and not burning bridges. This isn’t the end of your story in Nepal. I believe in you, and I trust that this will be made clear… Sooner or later.
I think it takes a ton of trust to place yourselves in God’s hands and walk the complete unknown – that He will make beauty for ashes, restore what is broken, give a crown of joy for a spirit of despair – and to lay it down for your precious daughter? Beautiful. Praying for peace in the midst, and that He will give you strength, joy and hope.
I cannot imagine the pain and grief and questioning you must be enduring right now. How could all your hopes and plans and sacrifice come to nothing? And yet, I truly believe that even for the short time you were there, you made a difference in people’s lives. And who knows but that your act of submission–being meek before authority, showing a willingness to bend–will bring about more change than if you had gone kicking and screaming. Humility is a rare and lovely trait, one you have in abundance. And perseverance comes in all sorts of packages, including the ones we leave behind with hopes for future reunification.
I am so sorry. I know this post barely scratches the surface of the heart-wrenching decision you made. Praying that God would grant you peace. Praying for your hearts and for Nepal.
Wow. Thank you for sharing. (((hugs)))
Right now, only God knows the whys. You are right where He wants you. For today. I trust you will be where He wants you to be tomorrow, next week, 2015 and beyond. The truth is, no one knows what they would do in your shoes until they are in them. But there is a sweet soul in Nepal who knows how much you love her. And she has hope. Continue to seek Him…wherever your shoes take you.
My heart hurts for your family. I can’t imagine the pain of having to leave so quickly, of leaving a daughter, of leaving what you spent years preparing for. I know the decision to leave was not made lightly or quickly. I know it’s important for you to be able to travel back there- part of your family is there. Lots of prayers for all of you.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Romans 12:18
This is what that looks like. It takes courage and humility to live in peace with all. Although this might feel as though the Lord has changed directions, He will make your paths straight. I pray that in trusting Him for direction you will see the fruit of your labors in His perfect timing.
Thank you so much for sharing what bits you could. I know it doesn’t even begin to encompass the emotional turmoil you’ve been walking through. I’m sorry that your family has had to walk this road. Prayer for healing and peace.
Only God knows how He will use this to further His kingdom. And yet He will. He has made it very clear that His ways are not our ways. Bless you all! May the peace and joy of Christmas be real and tangible in your family.
I pray that the agony will be replaced by peace and comfort, and that you will receive an assurance that you made sound decisions in the face of impossible challenges. Your daughter is there, and you were incredibly wise to keep the way open.
This is one of my favorite quotes:
“The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.”
-Joseph B Wirthlin
As heartbroken as I am for you, I can only imagine the gut-wrenching, heart-shredding pain that it takes to obey something like this. To answer first a call to go, and then, inexplicably, submit to the authorities and leave, in an act of obedience not only to them but to He who placed them there. The faith in One who is greater than……, to be able to do that…..I know you aren’t seeking applause or accolades, but…wow. Praying for all of you as you heal from this and wait on the “what’s next?” (((hugs)))
I read this and know the gut-wrenching emotions behind the decision you were forced to make. My situation is quite different, but I had to make decisions that most people won’t ever understand. God knows exactly why I made those decisions and yes… I lost more than my heart can bear most days, but God is getting me through it. As He will do for you.
I truly believe you did the right thing – as difficult as it was to do. My prayers are with you all. (((Hugs)))
Praying for you and your whole family. You are walking such a difficult road right now. May God fill you with His peace. Praying for your daughter that is in Nepal, too. Hugs and prayers!
I cannot even imagine how hard this decision must have been! Praying for you all!
and the dark does not over come such hope trust. The dark does not dissuade the truth. Press into the hard and hurt. It’s Safe there.
So many questions this side of Heaven. I am continuing to pray for you and yours….for peace.
Thank you for sharing and explaining what you felt able to. So sorry that you had to leave Nepal and your daughter behind, I’m glad you have kept doors open and hope that way opens.
What a heartbreaking decision to have to make! But, thank goodness that you were able to make it. This door was shut only for the moment–not for eternity. Our Father’s work goes on. Hugs and prayers for your hearts.
I think your wisdom in leaving on good terms for your family’s sake is also best for the Faithful there and abroad. Giving up your rights for His Glory is heart wrenching and just what He asks of us. Thank you for this example.
It so stinks, I can’t begin to say how much it stinks.
Praying for you guys.
Love you.
That’s all I got.
Wow! I’m so sorry you’ve had to make this heart-wrenching decision. I don’t see how you could do anything else that would allow you to continue the work. It’s God’s work and He will find a way to continue it. I pray for Him to heal your hearts and open doors for your next work.
I’m so sorry your family landed in such a difficult situation. If only one person was affected perhaps you would have chosen to fight it. But it’s obvious that you had to make the choice that was best for your entire family including Bee. Any other decision could have left you cut off from her for the rest of your life here on earth.
Heather, I’ve been in the place of hearing from God to do one thing and then hearing from Him to do the opposite. It’s strange and confusing. I will pray for you and your family as you begin to move forward.
Wise as serpents, harmless as doves. Who knew that the path of wisdom would be a gut wrenching, soul shattering choice that would come so soon? You made the sacrificial choice to keep doors from being slammed shut against you, your family, and perhaps (as our experiences all affect each other) other workers as well. Pretty sure the cloud of witnesses is applauding, and Dad is saying, “Well done!” And, take heart, this is far from the end of the story.
I can’t imagine being in your shoes.
Oh, my. (((()))) . You preserved a fragile tie to a fickle, developing nation and to your daughter. You obeyed the authorities placed over you. What difficult decisions, what a rough place to be. And the day may come when the doors to Nepal are thrown open and you can go back in. Please don’t feel stuck or defeated. You know that you prayed your way through each step and went through the doorways opened in front of you. That is not failure; it is obedience.
Thank you for serving our Lord, there or here. Keep going.
I cannot even begin to imagine being in your shoes and the pain, loss and frustration you must be feeling. And your family. Praying for you as you navigate the next chapter in your journey, know that you did everything you knew to do and trusting God to do the rest. The story is not over.
We love your family and know that you didn’t make any of these decisions lightly. Our hearts hurt along with yours, though we can’t feel the depth of pain you must. We will continue to lift you and your ministry, wherever may it may be, in prayer.
What a difficult decision, especially considering that you have a dearly loved daughter who had to stay behind. I’m praying for you as you navigate this new situation, and asking that the Lord give you peace that you did as Paul did in obeying those in authority, while giving God room to work now as well as in the future. Hugs to you all.
I applaud you for submitting to the civil authorities. Scripture clearly instructs us to do so. I am so sorry for all of the pain your family in enduring – I wish it weren’t so. It is times like these where one can only depend on the trustworthiness of our God. We don’t understand but we trust. I do not believe this story is over….