The Christmas letter I didn’t write

Dear friends and family,

I know, I know. Tradition has been broken. You have certain expectations from our crew this time of year, and this, decidedly, is not it.

Thanks for cutting us a break. It’s kind of been, well … a year.

Normally, you’d find a song from us– rewritten to reflect the comings and goings and daily life of our family. Funny little thoughts on our numerous library trips, our love of English Premier League soccer, the number of eggs it takes to give our people a full breakfast. This year, not a single carol stood out. You just can’t sum up our 2014 with a witty rendering of “Jingle Bells” or “Joy to the World.” Sorry. I’m not even going to try.

And those funny little one-paragraph summations of kids’ interests and personalities? I just don’t have the heart. There’s just not anything wry or amusing about a 17 year-old girl being told at the airport that her beloved labrador companion isn’t getting on the plane as planned, or about a 6 year-old crying over missing friends on two different continents. And I won’t even go in to the part where the grieving dad watched his 18 year-old daughter clutch his wife’s hand the whole ride to the hasty, unexpected departure.

No Christmas letter this year. Sorry.

But  it is still Christmas. And in the midst of so much biting pain, there is joy. Real joy. The kind that renews the spirit, fuels the heart, and brings comfort to the soul. The kind that leaves our hearts open and softened for the arrival of the Christ child in a way that a month ago, I could not fathom.

I have mentioned that we have been on the receiving end of a massive effort to supply us with the material things that make a house a home. I can’t begin to describe how far that has gone in allowing us the emotional space to celebrate Advent. Yes, the hurts are still real and still hold a powerful sting that has not yet lessened. But the love and friendship and overall Christian fellowship has reminded us that we are not alone, we are not forgotten and yes, God is very much with us.

And so, Emmanuel. We live in the reality that God walks here, among us, in the skin of those who open their wallets and give from their own storehouses, in the hands of those who say, “A family needs forks. I will buy them some.” So often we focus on what we can do, what we can provide during the days leading up to the birth of the Savior. We line up service opportunities, we look for ways to bless. But hasn’t the point, since the beginning, been that in these days, we are the ones in need? This is our season. Many years, we have been the ones God has used to make His point. This year, we are the ones remembering the deeper lesson. We have longed for rescue, and He has opened wide the gates. His love is real, here, among us.

So, please forgive us from breaking from tradition. Forgive us for not being the comic relief in your mailbox this year. But know that we are still here, still celebrating, still finding ways to bask in the light of the season. Silly song or no, it is Christmas. And we are overjoyed.

With love,

The Schwarzens