Dear Daddy,
I think you are amazing. There are no doubts in my mind that you are the best dad I could ever DREAM of having. Ever since I was too little to really understand much, I have loved you and looked up to you. Some of my fondest memories of being little are of you driving me to preschool and belting out “Jet” at the top of my lungs, or heading to Lowe’s while “Tupelo” played in the background. And as I have grown, I can only love you more. You have been so much to me, from spiritual leader, counselor, father, adviser, and on and on. You have filled all these roles and more.
You have always said you want to leave behind a legacy. Let me tell you now, you have left a mark on me. You have left a legacy behind, that I think you should know about. You have taught me since I was a baby, from letting me tag along as you covered news stories, to taking me to dentist appointments. Yeah, those are not what you would call “teachable moments,” but you have still taught me in those moments. I have watched you, Daddy, and you have shown me so much. You teach me how to shop, how to balance a checkbook, how car payments work, but oh, so much more! I could make it through life without those things (not very well, but still). Let me tell you what I couldn’t live without though, that you have lovingly not left me in the dark about:
Always be willing to follow God where He leads. This is the legacy you want to leave behind. You have not only taught me this in words, but in action. How much more do you act this out, not only moving to a country on the other side of the world, but then, leaving it when He said to, even though it was your dream? While you may doubt your efficiency in impressing this on me, let me assure you, it is not lost on this one. I’ve seen you get up and go and do it, and that counts even for when you didn’t want to. That’s something. That takes a really strong person, with a deep faith in Jesus to to do that. I want that, and you’ve made me want it.
A good man works hard for his family. If there were a prize for fulfilling this, you’d be the winner. Everywhere we’ve ever gone these past few years, you’ve always found a way to support us, feed us, provide us with what we need. You’ve given up what you want, so that we can have safety, security, and stability. You’ve gone to jobs you don’t like, despite your dislike. In the mornings, you get up, and you go everyday, even when you’d rather not. You’ve shown me that a real man disowns his wants to make sure his family is healthy in all ways. Thank you for that, Daddy.
Never let a man buy you cheap chocolate. You remember that day don’t you? We were at Walmart, and we walked past a display of boxes of chocolates and you said, “Do you know that brand? No, of course you don’t. That’s not good chocolate. Don’t ever let a man buy you chocolate like that.” Your point was that if a man loves you, he will go above and beyond the norm and treat you like a million dollars. I have never forgotten that day.
Real men are not perfect and they never pretend to be otherwise. I’ve seen you laugh, seen you cry, seen you on good days and on bad. And you know what? You’ve never pretended to be anything other than what you were. You never faked it in front of me, never acted like all was hunky-dory when it wasn’t. I’ve never once heard you say, “I’m perfect. I’ve got this.” The opposite actually. I’ve heard you say you don’t have it all together. And I hear that all the time. You’re honest, and you don’t try to be what you aren’t. I wrestle with being that myself, and you are a stunning example to follow.
A good man leads his family in and through everything. Whenever we go through hard or difficult times, you’re the one who loses the most sleep. I can think back to every time we’ve had something going on, and can well recall the family meetings we’ve had. You’ve explained everything to us. You’re always willing to talk about what’s going on. You’ll even stay up past midnight with me if that’s what’s necessary. You’ll explain and speculate right alongside us and listen to our side of the story. Which leads me to my next point…
Good men listen to people. This is an especially important thing for me to know as I come nearer to that time when the right man may be brought to my attention. A good man will listen to his wife or children and hear and rehear their fears, hopes, dreams, and plans. After listening, he will give suggestions, support, and comfort and he will do what he can to help. You’ve supported me in training to be a doula, in going to college, and in following my dreams of helping women and babies in Nepal. And finally…
Never settle for second best. Second best life, second best husband. You’ve taught me to not sell myself short, to not be afraid and to live the real life, not held back by my limitations or lack of faith. You’ve showed me there’s a big world out there and doing what God asks is a grand adventure that’s not to be missed out on. You’ve also showed me that waiting for the right, God-chosen man is a good, profitable thing– and that includes being picky about those that come knocking at my door. Settling for just okay is not in my plans, thanks to you.
These of course, are just a few of the things that you’ve taught me, by example and words. You are a fabulous dad, one the other girls should be envious of. Thank you for always being there, for raising me to be a strong woman of God, and for just being YOU. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. I love you.
~ MH