The two lines weren’t supposed to be there. You took the test on a whim. If anything, you thought, Murphy’s Law would come into play and you’d start your period as you were waiting for the seconds to tick by on the timer.
But it wasn’t negative. And here you are– suddenly dealing with the fact that even though you were done, well… God wasn’t.
I can’t be there to hold your hand through the next few months. I can’t answer the questions you’re asking God. I can’t smack every silly loon who jokes that you should have known better than to get rid of the crib. I can’t make you believe, as you are staring down another set of diapers, another round of braces, that this is going to be easy.
But I can remind you of this:
It’s not about you.
This new life, this new person… he or she was created with purpose. And that purpose wasn’t just throwing off the next 18 years of your life.
This baby will not be a baby for long. The season will be painfully short even for a mother caught off guard by the news that another is on the way. Life is about to change forever, yes. But it’s not just teething and temper tantrums. The relationships in your family are about to shift, to make room for a personality, an eternal soul that will echo on.
Your older children are about to meet the sibling who will stand by their side into old age. You are about to meet the mother or father of your grandchildren. You are about to hold in your arms someone’s future wife, a winsome preacher of the Gospel, an artist who brings joy and beauty into the world.
It’s not about you.
The life within you–though a shock to you– isn’t a surprise to God.
This is a continuation of a story. His story, not really yours. And when you’re done grappling with what this news means for you, when you can find the blessing in being chosen to have another person entrusted to your nurture, when the dust has settled, you will find God ready to carry you through the unexpected… and into the next chapter.
I love to read what you write! You often say things I’m learning or thinking, but much better than I ever could. I’m so thankful for your gift of language and that you use it to bless the rest of us. God has shown me this truth you so eloquently communicated.
This was so timely and so beautifully written. I know that every single word you wrote is truth and yet…I desperately needed that reminder.
We are open to whatever blessings God sends us. I had just decided however, that 8 was plenty. Pregnancy has gotten more challenging and I’m not getting any younger, 43 next month.
God had other plans and we are now expecting number 9 inJanuary. For some reason I am struggling. I know when the time comes I will be excited to meet this new little one. Thank you for the reminder that this is not about me. And as my wise, then 12 year old, reminded me as I was expecting #6, we are storing up our treasures in heaven.
We have no support from family and very few friends understand so I especially appreciate your blog!