A missionary just asked you for support? Don’t panic…

Chances are good if you attend church regularly, you’ve met a missionary family. And chances are even better that they’ve asked you for financial support.

That’s just how it is. Missionaries are doubly tasked with doing the work that God has called them to do as well as raising their own financial supporters to do it.

Few churches are designed today to support missionaries 100 percent (I’m not sure this is a great idea anyway), so families must visit other churches and pitch themselves to just about anyone who will listen.

It’s uncomfortable, and sadly, usually follows a predictable pattern. Someone asks about your work, they’re excited as you discuss your ministry. You assume they might also be interested in helping you financially, so you steel up your nerve and ask… only for the look on their face to let you know the conversation just ended.

And you think individuals are bad. Hey, pastors of churches? You’re just as bad if not worse for being in the ministry game with us and yet acting like we don’t exist.

If in fundraising, we had a dollar for every church we reached out to who never contacted us back, we’d never need to ask for another dollar again. Believe me. And really, all we want to do is get it done so we can get back to the ministry we love and feel God calling us to be a part of this side of heaven.

So, here’s a five-step sure-fire plan to follow the next time a missionary or ministry partner asks you to consider offering financial support.

1. Smile. You were smiling when you started the conversation, and maybe you were only making small talk, but there’s no reason to let that smile slip away into a blank stare or sour grimace because we asked you to pray about contributing financially. If anything, feel blessed that we sized you up and considered you to be one of the ones who might actually consider it. Trust me, we don’t ask everyone, trying our best to listen for the Holy Spirit’s leading (no, we’re not looking for people with gold watches or big diamond rings) to someone who might actually understand how missions work and how important their role as a supporter is in making God’s plan come to fruition. Ask more questions about their needs, how they use the funding they raise, where they get some of their other support. But don’t, please, please, please don’t turn this into the Spanish Inquisition. Be polite.
2. Discuss. You got asked, so now it’s time to go home and share the request. But not like this: “How was work today, honey?” “Well, I got asked for money by a missionary, otherwise it was OK.” “Oh, I’m sorry dear, at least I made your favorite dinner…” No. Again, if you’ve been asked, consider the fact that you might actually be called to help. Many families don’t realize the sacrifices that missionaries (anyone in ministry) makes on a daily and long-term basis. It isn’t easy working in another country, and the low income any minister makes takes a toll on a growing family. Christian families need to do a better job of understanding this and explaining to their children what it means to serve a life of Christ. A missionary’s request for funds can be a great way to jump-start this necessary conversation.
3. Pray. This is sad, but during my 10-plus years working in ministry, I can count on one hand the number of times someone actually told me they would pray about my financial request. I just don’t understand how prayer has become such a neglected part of the Christian’s life. Another blog piece, probably, but if you’ve been asked to support a ministry or missionary, you’d better give God a chance to speak to you about your part in it. And I mean really pray. You remember that passage by Paul where one of us is the eyes while others are the hands and feet? Well, missionaries get rejected so much they feel like the armpits of the church, and this is only because more people aren’t praying about their part. How can anyone expect God’s work to get done if we aren’t asking God how we participate. Maybe you aren’t called to help this ministry or missionary, but you won’t know until you ask Him. Heaven forbid (sorry about that) you land in heaven one day only to hear God ask why you failed to take His call that week.
4. Decide. I promise you that if you ask God what role, if any you, should play, He will tell you. And then you have to decide, will you answer or not? Perhaps this isn’t for you, but it certainly has been a good process to get you thinking about aspects of the Church you’ve never really considered before. But, as Mordecai tells Esther, “perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created.” Saying yes to a missionary’s request is more than just money, it’s a chance to be a part of the Kingdom work to which we are all called. But it’s also the beginning of a new relationship. I know that my wife and I cherish each and every one of our supporters, and not because they send us money each month. We try to pray for you as much as you should pray for us. We want to know when you’re happy and full of joy as much as we want to know when you’re hurting and searching. We want to be a part of your lives as much as we’ve invited you to be part of ours.
5. Reply. In the end, anyone who has asked you to be a part of their ministry deserves a reply. Pastors, this one is mostly for you. I know you’re busy. I know you’ve got people you’re trying to shepherd, but we’re in this together. It’s so discouraging to reach out to people via email, telephone, snail mail and in person, only to never hear back from them again. If I offered you a million dollars, few of you would lose my number, but when we get to the crux of what is a necessary part of ministry, so many of you are suddenly so busy you can’t be bothered (yes, this exchange with a pastor really happened). But it’s not just you pastors, as God calls and raises up the individuals to answer His call. But if after discussion and prayer you just don’t feel the Lord pulling your strings, let us know. Tell us you spent the time to seriously consider the request and believe God has called you to other things. We may be disappointed but we’ll appreciate the time you took with us. You’ll encourage us to try again, trusting that God has called His people, and they will respond.