Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing ideas here, on IG, and via this blog’s Facebook page for injecting some life into the long pause that is settling on our nation. Friends, I believe that this is a unique chance for us, as parents, to live out Ephesians 5:16, redeeming the time that has been gifted to us while the evils of uncertainty and fear swirl through the days. Why does it matter? What we say, what we do, what tone we set in our homes right now… it will settle into the hearts and minds of our children, and it will become a part of who they are.
In 2001, I was a young wife in Macon, Georgia, with two children. My youngest was 16 months old. The oldest was days away from celebrating her fourth birthday when the morning of September 11 dawned. In just a few short hours, everything I knew was plunged into doubt and chaos. My memories of that time are of fear—fear for our safety, for my husband’s job, for everything I loved somehow being ripped from my hands. My daughter’s memories of that time are of church services, an impromptu tea party on our back deck, of me making her beloved stuffed horse come alive and talk to her at bedtime, of reading The Giving Tree (affiliate link) on a loop. She can tell you that she recalls a vague sense of something being not quite right, but that it was not heavy burden in her days. Daddy was gone, yes… but Momma was there. She was perhaps a little more given to emotion… but she was there.
I fear that COVID-19 will play out differently for the children of this nation. The proliferation of information available to parents via cell phones and social media has the ability to steal from our children the sense of perspective and levity we could be speaking into their lives. Rather than guiding our children through the emotions and doubts, of strengthening their faith and our family ties, we can choose to lose ourselves in every global development in real time, or to do battle with others over the appropriateness of closings and policies that we can’t control, anyhow. When we choose this path, our children note our desperation. They feel our rage, our hopelessness, or our frustrations. And, without our voices speaking God’s sovereignty and peace over them, they follow us into lifelong patterns of fear over faith.
It doesn’t have to be this way. You set the tone of your home. You can make this time one of peace and comfort for your family. How do you get started?
Put down your phone. Turn off your t.v. Choose a worship playlist over another podcast on the unfolding crisis. Pick a different topic of conversation when your children are nearby.
Today, make one simple choice: filter what is coming into your home, your heart, and your children’s lives.
You want to curate an environment of rest? Make your home an island of respite for your children, your husband, and yourself? Be a safe space? Start by standing guard over the entrance to your home.
I’m not saying you hide under a rock. Set aside a time to step back and catch up on the day’s events if you feel the need. But don’t make it the first thing you do each morning; studies have shown that it only takes three minutes of bad news to set off an 8 hour slump in mood. And don’t make it an hourly habit. That’s no better for you. Find a quiet moment, set a timer, and scan your trusted sources. End with Scripture. I can’t stress this part enough. If you need ideas, the following verses will bring an undergirding of truth to what you have read:
Lamentations 3:31-62
Deuteronomy 31:8
Psalm 119:48-52
Psalm 9:9
Joshua 1:9
Psalm 27:1
Psalm 86:17
Psalm 119:76
John 14:16-17
John 14: 26-27
That’s it. Step one to setting the tone in a time of crisis is to disconnect from the hamster wheel of incessant coverage, give your spirit time to reset, and allow your family to exist in a space where their lives are not dominated by the weight of unfolding events.
Tomorrow, I’ll share practical ways you and your children can fight boredom and focus on the Lord during this time. I strongly believe that for everything negative we take out of our lives, we should put something positive back in to fill the space. Right now, many of us have a lot more space to fill than usual. Let’s use it wisely, and redeem the time!