There are many times when having a large family is inconvenient. Renting hotel rooms. Going to trendy, tight restaurants. Scheduling dentist appointments. All made slightly more cumbersome when the numbers dart above the average expectation of two parents and two children.
But, oh, Safer at Home, 2020 style? A place where large families shine.
Is it the fact that so many of us already have a home-based mentality, if not lifestyle? While we may not usually stay at home quite as much as these days require, we’re still unused to the concept of eating out regularly, or having someone else iron our husband’s shirts, or someone else cutting our kids’ hair. “Nonessential” businesses really are nonessential to most of us, and while we pray that those families and individuals stay afloat financially during this massive economic hit, we aren’t personally missing their services. Our homes are at the heart of our family rhythms, and we are fine staying in them.
Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve bought in bulk since we realized (somewhere around kid number four) that unless we wanted to be forced to buckle and unbuckle everyone’s five-point harness twice just to make a run for a box of butter, it was time to get serious about planning ahead. Moms of large families have been hoarding toilet paper since before it was cool, guys. We won’t even talk about how many five gallon drums of wheat some of us have stored in our pantries.
It could be either of those things that have smoothed the way for most of the large families I know during this tumultuous time. Maybe.
But to be honest, I think it’s the one thing most folks view as our liability in most situations: our sheer size.
Large families simply have people. Lots of them. So that loneliness? Boredom? Longing for contact? Yeah… we never feel that. At least, not the way smaller families might.
Large families are their own ecosystem. There’s always a partner, an ear, a friend, someone to laugh with. Want to play chess? More than likely, you’ll find an opponent. Feel like hiking down to the creek? Ask around. Just need a hug? We’ve got you covered.
And get this— the pressure isn’t even on Mom and Dad to provide all of this! The one thing I’ve heard over and over from friends with fewer kids is how stressful it’s been being the sole playmate and Pied Piper of their crew. Their kids are missing their friends with a passion, or can’t wait to see their cousins trapped on the other side of town. Their days are swinging between intensely orchestrated activities in the morning and long hours of screen time to quell the boredom. They are exhausted.
I get it. I was an only child until I was 7 years old. When I try to imagine what Safer at Home would have looked like for me, all I see is me mooning over my best friend a few houses down, pining over school like crazy, begging to see my grandparents who lived 15 minutes away, and missing my cousins badly enough to make myself sick. I would have worn my parents ragged. I guess it’s a good thing we only had a gas shortage to endure in my childhood.
Things look so, so different here. While my college kids are certainly missing the routine of their campus lives and the interactions there, and my younger kids have expressed hope that they will see their co-op friends sooner rather than later, the truth is that they have been very content in their days. The socialization cups of kids in large families are usually pretty full. Siblings usually hold the closest places in their hearts and circles; friends are great, but they’re not always on hand like a brother or sister.
So, after two weeks of this shutdown, are we lonely? Um, no.
Are we dying for the chance to browse the library shelves or tour a musuem? For sure.
Are we running low on paper towels? Not yet.
But Safer at Home? We’ve got this. We’ve always known it was true, anyhow.