The new, broad-based CDC guidelines for schools this fall have been released, and with them, a flood of concerns from parents. A common refrain has been, “Well, we’ll just homeschool!” And while I’m always heartened to hear such an uproarious support for something in which I so deeply believe, I’m also waving a cautionary flag. Why?
First and foremost, I don’t think those federal agency guidelines will trickle down into actual classrooms. It’s financially and physically impossible for at least 95% of districts nationwide to implement even a small portion of those recommendations— even if they had the full weight of local community and administrative support behind them. Which they don’t.
Just as importantly, I think it’s a dangerous thing to rush towards something while running away from something else. Remember the concept of the rebound relationship? From Wikipedia:
Someone who is “on the rebound” … is popularly believed to be psychologically incapable of making reasonable decisions regarding suitable partners due to emotional neediness, lingering feelings…, or unresolved problems from the previous relationship. Rebound relationships are believed to be short-lived due to … emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful break up. Those emerging from serious relationships are often advised to avoid serious dating until their tumultuous emotions have calmed.
Homeschooling shouldn’t be a rebound. If you’ve been dating the public school system your whole life, you’ve got some fundamental thought processes and expectations to work through before you walk into a successful, healthy relationship with homeschooling.
But some people should consider homeschooling this fall, for sure. Maybe you came into this whole crisis schooling thing kicking and screaming, but are now wondering if maybe ripping the bandaid of outsourced education off in one fell swoop was a blessing, not a curse. If any of these things have defined your crisis schooling, you may want to consider homeschooling in the fall:
- If you felt you “got your kid back.” A few weeks in to the new norm of no classroom, did your child change… for the better? Did he or she seem more rested? Did your child go from being disconnected to engaging? Did he stop lamenting boredom (or looking to you to schedule his every move) and instead find ways to productively and imaginatively fill his time? Did the level of eye-rolling, sass, arguing, or general push back in your home seem to go down? Homeschoolers know that there’s a period (we call it deschooling) in which a child shakes off the social, emotional, and habitual dust of institutional schooling and reintegrates fully into the more natural rhythm and circle of daily family life. If you’ve already seen that magical transformation, the hardest part is behind you… and you may want to consider homeschooling going forward.
- If your child went from being bored with school to suddenly engaging. Maybe your kid was never one to openly groan over schoolwork. Maybe he or she simply flew through assignments just to get on to the “good parts”— free reading, or tinkering with something more in line with his or her interests. But maybe you did have a child who fought worksheets tooth and nail, or stubbornly refused to write more than what was absolutely required. Did you witness your child’s love of learning suddenly burst off-leash during crisis schooling? Was the freedom of having time to explore what mattered to him without the pressure of tests and learning rubrics enough to kindle the love of learning that had almost disappeared? If so, you may want to consider sticking with homeschooling.
- If your child skipped his or her normal stomachaches. School anxiety in children has many roots, from the discomfort of separating from mom and dad, to difficulty transitioning from activities on someone else’s time frame, to fear of not performing well, to bullying, to not relating to teachers, to a lack of free time or rest, to… well, you get the picture. Common manifestations of anxiety in kids range from daily ailments like the classic stomach- or headache, to difficulty sleeping, to irritability, to emotional meltdowns. If these things had been part of your family’s norm and are now suddenly missing, homeschooling might be a good fit this fall.
- If it was easier than you thought. Did you step into the first day of not putting your kid on a bus or navigating the drop off line and think, “How on earth can I do this?” only to find that actually, sitting alongside your middle schooler and working pre-Algebra problems was kind of fun? Did you fear the burden of homework on top of housework, but come to realize that the laundry would still get done? Have you found that sitting down with three kids and working on multiple assignments at once isn’t the crazy-making scenario you always imagined? Congratulations! You might just be made for this gig!
- If it was more fun that your child thought it would be. Historically, the hardest sell in homeschooling a previously-schooled child isn’t the parent: it’s the child. Accustomed to a setting in which education is more passive, where peer opinions are valued over those of authority figures, where assignments are a task to be checked off, and where success is measured by grades and performance, the “learning for learning’s sake” vibe of most homeschools is hard for some kids to comprehend and, therefore, embrace. If your child didn’t give you the cold shoulder when you stepped in as teacher, or if he or she eventually came around to realizing that this, too, was school, you have one of the key ingredients to successful homeschooling on your hands.
- If you both truly enjoyed it. Maybe you all started this crisis schooling journey energized and excited to embark on a new adventure together. Or maybe the spark of joy came a few weeks in, when the sensation of educational freedom became obvious to every member of your family. At any rate, if you are finding that you and your children look forward to reading, talking, and exploring together without the constraints of an outside force dictating what you should be learning together, you’re a prime homeschool candidate.
- If you can’t see going back to “the way things were.” When you look ahead to fall and the routine of your children returning to their classrooms, do you feel a pang in your heart? If you’re starting to think you’ll be losing something precious, well… you just might be. If you’ve seen that there’s no counterfeit, no “less than” in what you can provide at home, there’s no reason to go back to business as usual. A good number of families have taken the red pill and now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they can provide an educational environment that’s more robust, more supportive, more creative, more encouraging, and more in line with their family’s goals and vision. If you see nothing but potential and progress in the way things are now, keep homeschooling!
These are, of course, just a few of the reasons you might weigh as you make your choice for the year ahead. There are countless more, and your own are likely quite unique. Next week, I’ll be sharing some resources for those who have decided to take the plunge for the first time. Regardless of how you began the 2019-2020 school year, the one ahead can look however you choose. Take the time to pray over your next steps. And begin working towards a successful 2020-2021!