I’m terribly behind in posting. I knew that once “the baby” (funny to think back to a time when Alice was not Alice) arrived I’d find myself reorganizing my time. Somehow I didn’t see this blog dropping so low in the priorities. And yet, here we are, 9 months and only a handful of posts later.
We’re deep in Advent. It’s one of my favorite seasons, but feels more subdued this year. I think part of that is the aforementioned little person, who still takes up quite a few hours of both the night and the day. Part, too, is the bittersweet truth that while this is a Christmas of lovely firsts, it’s also a Christmas of lasts. Alice and Mary Hannah’s stockings will only share wall space this month. Then, they will be separated; when the decorations come down in January, I will pack Mary Hannah’s things in their own box. When the next Christmas season rolls around, she will open it in her own home. But Alice’s stocking will remain here, in its slot at the end of an ever-shrinking line of represented siblings.
But this year, there is the delight of introducing our little cherry on top baby to colorful lights and the feel of cold air on her face. Alice is not a fan of most sensory challenges, so the holidays have been fraught with more than a few moments of frenzied crying, but still, a first Christmas is always such a precious thing. Watching those blue eyes wonder at twinkling lights, and seeing the wheels turn in her head as she processes the changes she sees all around has been magical. Experiencing it again has been a gift for me. Once again, I’m basking in the unexpected blessing that has been life with Alice. I’m humbled, and grateful.
The next few weeks will hold so many firsts and lasts. I might sneak a crumb of shortbread onto Alice’s tongue to gauge her reaction. I’ll probably break down in tears a time or two when it hits me again that this Christmas morning is the last I’ll see Mary Hannah in her pjs, pulling a younger sibling onto her lap, toting around her already-cold cup of tea. I’m along for the ride, as always, in this role, in this space, in this time. The first, and the last are upon us. Time to celebrate both milestones!