Each new season of parenting has made me look back on the one before and wonder how, exactly, it was that I thought the milestones would eventually crawl to a stop, or that I would suddenly have free hours each day to fill with diversions. It’s not happened yet. Maybe it will someday. But I’m beginning to doubt it. Each subsequent month seems to reveal yet another major event up ahead, and me? I’m along for the ride.
It’s the flipside of the “wait until the time is right,” coin. Christopher and I laugh at the absurdity now, but once upon a time we thought that if you were patient, the perfect window of opportunity for the next big step would present itself. Maybe it does for some people. Maybe the magic window for a new baby, a big move, a large purchase opens up for some people. But you know, I don’t think it really does. God allows us a certain illusion of control. But is there a “right” time for most things? A point where there’s enough money, or time, or whatever? Generally, no.
So that’s what I’ve accepted right now:
I am a woman with a big, busy family, and it keeps me hopping. For years, our brood didn’t feel especially time consuming. The tide has shifted. Now the straddling of ages and stages gives me whiplash on a near-daily basis. I’m not complaining. I love that God has brought us to the place where there’s so much joy and fruit to be found. But I’m also grateful for His gift of strength in the midst, without which I think I’d just sit around and blink a lot.
Consider…
Rahel is two months old now, and jumping over health hurdles as she grows. I’m delighted to be heading to Nepal next month to meet her! I have always enjoyed knitting and collecting clothing items for babies. Everyone told me that grandbabies kicked that joy up a notch, but as someone who has taken such pleasure in the art for her own babies, I figured it would probably even out. I was wrong. It’s true when they say that grandchildren own a different part of your heart. I can’t wait to feel it in person!
We are 89 days from Mary Hannah’s wedding. Although there hasn’t been much to do in the most hands-on sense, the planning has ramped up. I’m trying to be a help while also allowing my daughter to be in control of her own special day. The balance can be tricky, not going to lie. We’re moving into the more active phase of doing, and that’s going to be both fun and busy. June will come much faster than I realize.
On March 3, Alice turned a year old. She has been a feisty, spirited baby with a low tolerance for any kind of disruption, discomfort, or… well, anything. High maintenance, we say in love. The good news is that with each passing week, she becomes more mobile, more independent, and happier. Now, this does mean that we have to be on guard as she creeps towards toddlerhood and gains more ability to find herself in a spot. But somehow, the baby who once wailed for hours for no discernible reason has become the one year-old who actually seems content to be led away from the stairs over and over and over again with no overarching frustration. What a blessing this is!
On March 25, Jack and his girlfriend quietly became husband and wife in a Knoxville courthouse. It was the wedding they wanted, on their own terms, and in their own timing. We have been delighted to welcome his bride, Emmanuelle, into our family and are, as always, in awe at how God knits together the tapestry of a bigger picture. This is our second new family member in 2022, with one more due to be aded in June. Each person— first Rahel, now Emmanuelle, soon Bobby— brings their own strengths and gifts to the table. Each will add to the beauty of the next chapters being written in our family’s future. I can’t really put into words the deep gratitude I feel to be able to open my arms a little wider and welcome at last the people I’ve prayed for for so long without knowing their names, or when I would finally meet them. My first grandchild. The men and women who love my children and have taken on the sacred role of husband or wife. God is so good to let me see this next generation as it unfolds!
So yes, milestones. Constant motion. There is never a lull, never a day that isn’t full to bursting. There’s no empty nest in sight, no end to the joys of raising little ones— but it’s mingled with the happiness of weddings and babies, too. I regret nothing in following what appeared to be a crazy calling to be the mother of many. God has dealt with me abundantly!